The Beast--Roller Coaster of my emotions

The house appraisal went well and next is just CLOSING! We have begun the packing,selling, and discarding process. This is a crazy roller coaster of emotions! One minute I am checking out apartments in Newcastle, Northern Ireland and am imagining us settling in the town. The next minute I am walking around my house and thinking that I never, ever want to leave my sweet little casa, or our neighborhood, or the country in general. I am mad at Lars and I for saying "yes" to the call of missions. I am confused about what God is asking of us. Then I am overjoyed at the adventure that God has set before us. Blessed that we get to be a part of something so much greater than ourselves.

Then the "leaving thoughts" creep in again. This place is my hometown, my church, my friends. But God knows all that already and yet is still calling us to other things. All that I can say is that he MUST know something I don't! He will not let us have the 9-5 Monday to Friday life with benefits. There is nothing wrong with that lifestyle if that is what God has for you...but his plan for us is different. Does anyone ever feel like you have a harder time than other people? Isn't that a funny thought? Other people's burdens whether they appear heavier, lighter, more fun, or just plain nicer--they don't fit interchangeably.

I want to follow GOd where he leads us and I really am excited about this journey we are on. Its scary to have no control though! We work so hard to make this safe little nest for our babies and now we have to dismantle it piece by piece and start over. He is in it all though. He knows my thoughts, fears, questions, sadness, excitement. He's holding me close to him, too. Yes, I may be on roller coaster, but he's riding with me and doesn't care if I scream at the top my lungs and squeeze him tightly. The ride will end sometime (please don't tell me that there are other rides that I'll go on later--not ready for that one!!)


These are some pictures from the Fort Wayne Zoo yesterday. We are trying to have as much family fun time as possible, because the rest of the time is so busy with packing, me freaking out, Lars working, etc :)